a question to hillary voters… why?

May 2, 2008 by p00ky.

Polls show and have shown even before the Wright debacle and Barack’s clinging religious slip in San Francisco that 30-40 percent of Hillary voters would not vote for Obama if he were the nominee.

Why?

Yeah, some Obama voters report that they will not vote for HRC under any circumstances, and i confess to understanding their position though i will not defend it here.  Others are welcome to do so.

Having followed the political dialogue for some time now, i simply do not get the position that the hrc supporters have arrived at.  No unseemly attacks by Obama have been uttered by the candidate towards Hillary, and great restraint has been exercised in the wake of a litany of stuff coming out of the hrc campaign that would be low hanging fruit to fodder the attack cannons.  But Obama has risen above the impulse to use it against her… from the bosnia snipers to the whitehouse logs that speak of her vivid imagination in e.g. creating an image of endowing peace to ireland from a tea party.  I am a believer in tea parties, but hillary is no alice.

So, again, i ask WHY.  Given that the stance of the two candidates on the isssues is so very similar, Why do so many hrc supporters loathe Mr. Obama to the extent that they would not vote for him were he the nominee?  Implicit in the position is that they would rather see McCain president than Mr. Obama.  Why?  Why? Why? 

I would ask a hrc supporter who has come to the conclusion not to vote for Obama in the general election, but i do not know any.  Help me out here.  Please tell me WHY.  Thanks.

(oh, in the words of DharmaWoo:  Gawd i wonder if hillary gets nominated i will plant my lawn chair in your dotage.)

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Here’s What Gives

March 29, 2008 by p00ky.

Recently a post was removed from this blog due to objectionable material.  The author will be named by nick only on his approval.  The poster is a fellow-chatter, influential in the direction of #gayportland, an articulate and thoughtful individual, and one whom i consider a friend…. One of whom i expected more on this occasion. 

I went to some length in chat to express to him my opinion that the youtube post was a page out of the right-wing play book, a hatchet job typical of rove-esque tactics, and the kind of anti-intellectual sleaze promoted on any random obama-bashing site in the blogosphere.  When the request for deletion of the youtube link was declined, it was removed by management (yeah, in this case, me).  On suggestion of the poster, the post was then removed.

He was encouraged to express his anti-Obama position in original words, which he is eminently capable of doing, in lieu of using our fair blog to promote a mindless video guffawed over by good ol’ boys on return from their saturday night dog fight.  He declined again.

Authorship (the ability to post in addition to add comment) on this blog, is granted with the same consideration that ops is extended on #gayportland.  Both are held to a higher standard…. with power, if you must, comes responsibility.  And both are retained by the author in question.

I am well aware of the slippery slope potential that looms in the discussion and reality of “censorship.”  Tomes have been written on the matter, and i will not attempt to expand the literature in this post.  Suffice it to say that this blog will maintain its identity as a forum for free-expression within the context of the gay “community” and a furtherance of the dalliances enchatted on #gayportland.  It will not become a venue for the recycling of right-wing propaganda videos that proliferate on lesser if more popular blogs whose purpose is not to stimulate thought, but to fester ignorance in a pustule of fear.

Cheered I am by the knowledge that he is capable of better, as witnessed by his fine libertarian blog at http://nwfreethinker.blogspot.com/ , which includes his thoughts on the subject at hand.  No, dear, you are not a bad person:)

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a lil’ Mika

March 7, 2008 by p00ky.

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HOWL…. In Your Own Back Yard

February 15, 2008 by p00ky.

Discovered in the bowels of a Reed College archive is a cleanly recorded reel-to-reel rendition of Howl read by the poet in a Reed College dormitory lounge, proclaimed as the first recorded reading of the poem as yet unearthed.  “One” cannot help but wonder if Ginsberg got laid that night at Reed.  Swallow hard and dl quicktime, and Enjoy.

(thanks to Reed, and to Allen)

http://www.reed.edu/news_center/multimedia/2007-08/ginsbergreadings1.28.08.html

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the completion is here and at hand:

February 10, 2008 by Prototype_Leo1983.

http://www.arcaneaddiction.com/purchase

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a winter song

February 2, 2008 by p00ky.

The Rose

with compliments to and appreciation for the PGMC

Some say love, it is a river
that drowns the tender reed.
Some say love, it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love, it is a hunger,
an endless aching need.
I say love, it is a flower,
and you its only seed.

It’s the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance.
It’s the dream afraid of waking
that never takes the chance.
It’s the one who won’t be taken,
who cannot seem to give,
and the soul afraid of dying
that never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long,
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong,
just remember in the winter
far beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed that with the sun’s love
in the spring becomes the rose.

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Seasons Greetings From #GayPortland

December 16, 2007 by p00ky.

A card for you at:

www.gayportland.info/HappyHolidays

a link to a pretty good site for audio edition of A Child’s Christmas in Wales - Dylan Thomas:   http://www.undermilkwood.net/prose_christmas.html

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boo!

October 20, 2007 by Prototype_Leo1983.

the mystery is unfolding.  the silence i’ve spent for a long time has paid off in many things.

i will be showing up in the chat room at some point in the next couple of months.  until then, i’ve got a CD to finish and i’m only 2 months away from possible completion, no less, 2 songs away from full completion.

just biding the time.

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another year older and what do i get? or, getting older but getting bitter. or up yours im old, humor me.

August 17, 2007 by wonko.

well here it is another year gone. this time last year i was in texas full speed ahead on a new career path feelin good and lookin even better. i shouldve known that wouldnt last. the fates those arbitrary bitches once again conspired to catch fire to my house of cards, so in classic olah (that’s me in case you dinna know) fashion i cut my losses and made for the hills, actually mountains, of portland. what did i learn from my recent brush with responsible adulthood? well, for one thing success isnt as easy as it sounds even if you put your whole heart and soul into it. either that or ive not figured out what it is im here for. {”here” in the metaphorical metaphysical sense, not here on the interent… i know why im here on the internet: porn.) love will never stay despite any effort to the contrary, and of course the lack of effort just hastens its demise. eventually even the ones you love most will be taken away or will just get tired of trying to keep up. that seems a prosaic notion for someone in thier late 30s to be figuring out i guess, but hey ive always been a late bloomer. also, starting over gets harder as the years go by, maybe some day soon i’ll get it right. like tammy wynette says “i’ll just keep on fallin in love til i get it right” well tammy add to love, everything else and im right there with you. ive spent such a large portion of my life alone that the concept of being “with” someone else in a romantic or non-romantic but somehow exclusive context is both alien and frightening. but then even more frightening is the concept of being that ratty old man who mutters under his breath because there’s no one else he can talk to. fear of action vs fear of inaction, i dont know which will win out in the end. we’ll save that for another year. so, out with the old, in with the new. let’s see if i can make this year more than the sum of the preceeding 36.

ps: if this strikes you as overly pessimistic, narcissistic, whiney, bitchy or just annoying well then i guess you just dont know me.

xoxo
olah

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the oppression of freedom of speech (deviation)

June 29, 2007 by Prototype_Leo1983.

Recently, I’ve noticed that online communities such as gay.com in example, are an online organization allowing users to freely access their services or pay for services for extra features.

I am all for that, as it is a company or a branch of a parent company whose sole purpose is to offer services, and can offer them at a nominal fee, based on the consumer market and the demand for the services.

However, I am against the censorship of freedom of speech on this particular website, and I am sure that there are many others out on the gay internet world who are probably seeing the same results as I have seen
recently, as of June 28th, 2007.

I recently attended a local Death Metal concert, because I was given a free ticket by a band that I know personally and may be performing keyboards with. As to make the occasion greater of an experience for myself, I decided to put together 4 simple ingredients to make prosthetic/fake blood. It is very simple.

Corn syrup, red food coloring, a little bit of blue food coloring, and peppermint extract (to keep it from tasting like fecal excrement). I applied it liberally enough to make it look realistic, as if I had just been bludgeoned to death by a lynch mob or something to that extent. It almost got me denied 3 times on public transit, which I found funny.

However, I took a couple of photos to put on an online profile, because I like to freely express myself in various ways without the intent of hording all of the attention of the internet. I begin to upload them to gay.com, and low and behold, within less than 15 minutes, the photo I decided to upload had been deleted from their server! I try it again after I take notice, and again within 15-20 minutes, it is deleted again. I’m marking the photo as my default photo, and am marking it as non-adult, considering I wouldn’t dream of putting my nude ass up on the internet nor pose in something sexually suggestive with less clothing on. Call me prude, but I don’t like being hit on by every homo because I’m “hot”. You tell me all the time, please stop telling
me this, I hate the fact you try to inflate my Leo ego and get between my legs, even though you don’t realize that I am not online looking for sex. I’m online looking to make friends and possible special connections that don’t immediately involve sexual advances.

After a while, my photo stays on a bit longer. I believe they have stopped monitoring the image or that the viewers of the image have stopped reporting it as suggestive or adult. I go to sleep believing the war of the photography issue is over.

I wake up the very next day (the same day I’m also writing this document) and take notice that my photo has been deleted yet again!

I continue the war of uploading a photo that I find in no possible way subliminally advertising violence or harm to another person, no less,
you can clearly see my face under a bunch of colored corn syrup. At some point, I get a message from a friend of mine tipping me off that the
photo had been marked as adult. Am I sitting there naked in the photo looking like I’m showcasing my penis to the world, or even remotely look
like I’m masturbating or having some sort of sexual activity going on around my crotch? Am I in a suggestive pose that could incite more gay men
going out and having unprotected sex? NO!!!

I’m clearly stating something I personally believe in an artistic basis, and yet, I’m being censored with my art in the gay community!

Is it that every gay man believes homosexuality should be flower gardens and a real rainbow shooting out from their underwear?

This document I write now at this very moment, is taking a very violent true-to-the-heart stab at those that which call themselves “The Gay Community” and for exactly what they are believing in.

Don’t get me wrong now, I’m a young gay adult myself, and in about a year will no longer be “young”, but while I am still young, I still believe that
the possibility of using my voice in any context such as speaking or writing online can have as much a potential impact as a gay couple at gay pride suggestively advertising looking for a group orgy by the way they dress.

Does a simple photo of mine suggest wearing ass-less chaps to a celebratory event and possibly committing lewd misconduct in front of children, when most are told that gay pride is a family-oriented parade and event? Excuse me for barking up the right tree right now, but if I were a father of an 8 year old son or daughter, I sure as hell would not take them to an outdoor event where half-naked lesbians are flashing their boob meat to the public, and virtually naked leather daddies are bulging hard in their ass-less chaps and g-string or thong, suggesting that the male hard-on is a natural thing for children to be exposed to. That is borderlining a sexual offense to me. And yet, a website that offers services to chat online or use online personals doesn’t allow someone to be artistic with themselves and advertise themselves in a way they want to? Is the gay community full of hypocrisy?

I think it’s full of the very thing that many of us who don’t attach ourselves to such a community are fighting for that we desperately need. Freedom of speech!

During the years that President Bush has been in office, we’ve been facing one of many of the “worst times” in American culture ever. We can’t speak freely or otherwise we are jailed for a ridiculously named crime. Soon, speaking obscenities in public on our own accord will have us jailed for at least a week because it’s vulgar to express your personal opinions in public. I’ve been a supporter of freedom of speech because you’re not supposed to censor somebody for their beliefs. Isn’t what this country was founded upon? Religion and politics have dirtied the very core that we once were, and the gay community to me seems to be taking a similar direction in near-similar aspects.

If we are not allowed to freely express ourselves, how in the hell can we show others how unique we are as individuals?

As of this very moment that I end this submission, I am still fighting to have my photo exposed to everyone, in a manner that does not suggest violence or pornography.

My closing words are these:

The more you let someone take away the power you have alone, the less you are listened to. The more you allow someone to censor you, the more boring you will appear to others. The less action you take against the higher power, the more they succeed. The more you speak out, the more things change.

However, one person alone can accomplish a lot or change a lot, depending on how driven and determined they are. But the more powerful statements are made when more than one person speaks out about them, or tries to discuss it with someone else and make it an issue that needs to be addressed.

In the 6 years of being out, I can admit to the same things many young gay men have done. But I will not admit to the fact that I am proud to be gay. The truth is, is that everyone is so centered on making “gay” look like something peaceful, decorated with the rainbow and designer clothing, when in fact, there is a much larger world out there full of many different and unique individuals whom develop their own background and personality. And some of those gay men prefer to be outside of that box that we call “Gay Pride”
because we all agree to one thing. There is no political backbone to change anything. It’s just a celebration of having limited amounts of gay
rights, and looking for quick hook-ups, which possibly condones the spreading of STDs.

So I ask, what is so harmful or taboo about looking like you’re covered in blood? Just to make a simple statement loud and clear?

If anything, you never know. It could be you, covered in real blood, because of a hate crime such as gay bashing. Am I promoting gay bashing?
No. I wish to promote the freedom of speech and expression, and I want others to take notice to the very exact things that we as gay men individually
are being raped of.

Maybe the next thing will involve you, your nude photos online, or even the language or way you say something will be censored because it’s law.

I suggest if you want more rights, you really need to do something that doesn’t involve proving anything, and has a strong message behind it. Most of the general public are afraid of the truth because it hurts. Give them the truth, and let it feel like an amputation without any painkillers!

If you believe in something strongly, I suggest you take action now because soon it will be too late, and your words will mean nothing, and I’m prepared
to continue doing what I love to do and what I want to do, because I was born in a free country, I should have every damn right to do something extreme
and truthful to myself without being censored.

This document is written solely to encourage those who feel voiceless to begin speaking out, despite their influential power in life. It is time to make things right and equal for everyone, because at this point in time, I’m getting the sense there is a high level of inequality, a high level of singling people out because of their personal beliefs, and no one knows what the future holds for us all exactly, but we can stop being apathetic and change the way things are and will be in the near future, given someone has the strength and courage to stand up for what they believe in, and aggressively assert themselves and their message, to ensure that someone will take notice and actually sit back and think about it, rather than be severely opinionated and judgmental about those beliefs. True freedom shouldn’t come with a price
tag at all, so why are we still having to buy it?

edit: here’s the photo (as a question/request in one of the comments)

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